Whenever I'm doing research, there's always some kind of unexpected thread tying cases together (by unexpected, I mean not the thing I just typed in the search box). Like the Richard Scarry yellow bug: not really a main character--just there. So one time, drug-sniffing dogs were appearing everywhere. Another time it was movable ceiling tiles. Lately, it's been the Johnnie Cochran of Wisconsin: Stephen P. Hurley. He represented Georgia Thompson, Scott McCallum, Peg Lautenschlager, and he's currently representing Eugene Zapata, who allegedly murdered his own wife in 1976. (This isn't brand new news, btw, so lower your expectations.)
The state recently decided to reopen Mrs. Zapata's homicide investigation, and cadaver dogs identified two locations connected to Mr. Zapata (a crawl space in their former home and his storage locker) that apparently still smell like dead people. Hurley convinced Judge Fielder that the dogs are unreliable, and so the poor pups weren't even allowed to have their day in court. The jury, in turn, wasn't able to come up with a unanimous verdict.
Just wait, though, Hurley gets famouser still! Madeleine McCann (cute missing British girl)'s parents appear to be in huge trouble for possibly murdering her. Or, at least carrying her around, lifeless, in a rental car. Cadaver dogs went crazy when smelling Mom McCann's clothes and the Portuguese rental car. Understandably PANICKED, the attorneys representing the [still living] McCanns contacted the world-famous cadaver-dog-expert and occasional AGSLS professor, Steve Hurley. At his 608 area code.
We're just three degrees of separation away from People Magazine.
Wednesday
Directories!
The glorious day is almost here!
"Dear Students,
The Directory of New Students is expected to arrive on Friday (possibly Monday),so I'm sending my annual request to all students to clear out your hang files to make room to receive these.
Thanks very much!"
This is when the law school turns from being a meat market to a high-intensity stalking environment. No longer do you have to approach that 1L and ask her what her name is, along with the other BS you don't really care about. You can just scout her out, find that her likes include trips to Europe, and ask her if she wants to go down to Parthenon with you!
"Dear Students,
The Directory of New Students is expected to arrive on Friday (possibly Monday),so I'm sending my annual request to all students to clear out your hang files to make room to receive these.
Thanks very much!"
This is when the law school turns from being a meat market to a high-intensity stalking environment. No longer do you have to approach that 1L and ask her what her name is, along with the other BS you don't really care about. You can just scout her out, find that her likes include trips to Europe, and ask her if she wants to go down to Parthenon with you!
Boobies!
I haven't had much the time to blog CNN recently, but this story is a gem. Ohio State Legislator accidentally shows porn to high school class during presentation. Obviously he isn't aware of the Establishment Clause in the US Constitution, which requires separation of schools and no-no spots.
"Bill Belichick is a peeping Tom Brady"
Our favorite plaintiff has returned. Jonathan Lee Riches is now suing Bill Belichick for spying on everything. Very literally. He alleges that Belichik sends Randy Moss to area hospitals to spy on ultrasounds, Foxboro Stadium sells tapes from the bathrooms to Larry Craig, and Tom Brady implanting a listening device in Donovan MacNabb's chunky soup. It's worth a read.
As always, Dr. Nugz is on the trail.
As always, Dr. Nugz is on the trail.
Marmaduke Explained
is back with a vengeance. Apparently Joe Mathlete was merely on a break last week and wasn't so fed up with BOHChris that he decided to off Marmaduke explaining. The man's got heart: As a nerdster on JP's nerdy undergraduate message board put it, "my only role in the whole tragedy has been to leave an angry comment on the twat's blog of hilarity. I propose that he is everything currently wrong with America."
Can't put it any better.
Can't put it any better.
Monday
Who will judge the judges?
Good news, fans of judicial integrity! As you are aware, your beloved Clarince T is normally as steady and unflappable as the Original Constitution preserved in its climate-controlled case, but there are a few things that will set my blood to boil. Suggestions that there is any such thing as a "compelling governmental interest" for taking race into account, suggesting there is a right to privacy, suggesting that the Founding Fathers weren't able to psychically predict all of the ways the nation would change over the centuries and plan accordingly, etc. Serious things.
Along these same lines, one thing that really gets my dander up is judges who do things that undermine the integrity and credibility of the entire judicial system. As a proponent of the 1789 rule, I would have no problem with a rule that allowed for the drawing and quartering of the worst offenders. It wouldn't be cruel or unusual in the least, in my sound and reasoned opinion.
As such, I am pleased and delighted to announce that the panel investigating conflicts of interest by newly elected Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice Annette Ziegler is expanding their probe into her shady dealings with the West Bend Savings Bank.
For those of you who are not aware, Ziegler, a former trial level judge in Washington County, presided over a number of cases involving this bank. Although Ziegler's husband sat on the board of directors of this very bank, and Ziegler and her husband applied for and received loans from this very bank, Judge Ziegler declined to recuse herself from any of the cases involving this very bank. Bad, bad Judge.
During the campaign for the open seat on the High Court (widely regarded as one of the dirtiest, nastiest, mud-slingingest judicial campaigns in Wisconsin history), Ziegler steadfastly maintained that she had committed no ethical violations and had no conflict of interest in the West Bend cases. Now that the campaign is over, she has admitted that conflicts did exist.
The Wisconsin Code of Judicial Conduct CLEARLY states that a judge shall recuse [her]self from hearing any case, or, at the very least, disclose the existence of a conflict, whenever "the judge, or the judge's spouse ... is a party to the proceeding or an officer, director or trustee of a party." Um, not a lot of wiggle room here Ziegler.
If the probe reveals that Ziegler did behave unethically, the other 6 Justices of the WSC will hold her fate in their hands. Potential consequences range from reprimand to suspension to removal from the bench.
Though I maintain my support for drawing and quartering (or at least tarring and feathering), I will accept no sanction less severe than booting her off the bench, permanent disbarment, and public humiliation. She deserves no less for tarnishing the image of our sacred profession.
*Thanks to jrv for the heads up.
Conservapedia Conserva-spotlight: THEY HAVE AKEN!!!
Well, the Supreme Court resumed session today, and, well, eight of us came back to a sad state of affairs. I'm sure you regular Seriatim followers have noticed a dearth of posts coming from Mr. AKen since the end of the last term when this blog began. Well, we thought he was just enjoying a relaxing interterm at the beach with hookers like the rest of us (even RBG: She loves a good lap dance!)
Now we're back in our hallowed halls, but there's no sign of AKen. Again, nobody suspected a thing: He's late a lot, etc... But then we saw the ransom note:
"If yu evur want to cee AKen agan, yu bettr stop ze sekular progressif heje$$$$ from teaking ovur ze wurld. Seighened: Conservapedia."
Well fuck. So I turned to Clarince T and asked what he thought. In a moment of utter brillance, we decided to just play it cool like "Weekend at Bernies": If you're reading this article, please don't tell anyone, but the Conservapedians have AKen. We'll take care of it, just keep it down.
Now we're back in our hallowed halls, but there's no sign of AKen. Again, nobody suspected a thing: He's late a lot, etc... But then we saw the ransom note:
"If yu evur want to cee AKen agan, yu bettr stop ze sekular progressif heje$$$$ from teaking ovur ze wurld. Seighened: Conservapedia."
Well fuck. So I turned to Clarince T and asked what he thought. In a moment of utter brillance, we decided to just play it cool like "Weekend at Bernies": If you're reading this article, please don't tell anyone, but the Conservapedians have AKen. We'll take care of it, just keep it down.
Yet another reason not to shop at Wal-Mart
Nothing sparks public panic quite like the recall of a food product that is a staple of the American diet. I am speaking, of course, about Beef (It's what's for dinner). Topp's Meat Co. has recalled approximately 21.7 MILLION pounds of frozen hamburger in the wake of an outbreak of e. coli sickness across the Northeast. The first instance of sickness occurred nearly 6 weeks before the issuance of the recall, which is understandably making people pretty pissed.
The meat in question was made in late June and July. The E. coli in the hamburger beef began sickening people in August. It took nearly six weeks before the first recall was issued.
"We don't understand why it took so long to recall this meat. If there was a victim in August, it should have been revealed weeks ago," said Jean Halloran of the Consumers Union.
Don't make me say I told ya so.
Profiles in Awesomeness: AKen
Hear ye, Hear ye, Court is now in session!
SCOTUS kicks off its new term today, and there are a lot of hot-button issues on deck. People that care are waiting with bated breath to see if the most recent additions to the Court, now that they've had some time to settle in, will be able to successfully swing the Court back hard right and stop the accursed secular-progressive juggernaut from damning the soul of our great nation.
According to some really smart people, the fate of the world hinges on the mysterious and unpredictable whims of our very own Justice Kennedy.
A number of other wild card factors are also present this term, which could make for a tumultuous and unpredictable judicial season.
The health scare involving 52-year-old Chief Justice John Roberts, hospitalized in July with a still-unexplained seizure: Can he cast aside any concerns over his still-developing leadership skills? The ageless 87-year-old John Paul Stevens, leader of the more liberal wing of the court: Can he hold together a loose left-leaning coalition? The newest justice, Samuel Alito: Will he remain a reliably conservative vote as he begins his second full term? Lesser-known Justices David Souter and Stephen Breyer: Will they emerge as key behind-the-scenes players on a range of hot-button cases?
In spite of all the uncertainty and apprehension hovering over the bench like a storm cloud, I am very excited about what this term might hold, and am crossing my fingers that any surprises that might occur end up being favorable to my position. Stay tuned. It could get interesting.
SCOTUS kicks off its new term today, and there are a lot of hot-button issues on deck. People that care are waiting with bated breath to see if the most recent additions to the Court, now that they've had some time to settle in, will be able to successfully swing the Court back hard right and stop the accursed secular-progressive juggernaut from damning the soul of our great nation.
According to some really smart people, the fate of the world hinges on the mysterious and unpredictable whims of our very own Justice Kennedy.
"It's hard to understate the significance of Justice Kennedy," said Douglas Kmiec, a onetime Justice Department lawyer in the Reagan and George H.W. Bush administrations, who now teaches law at Pepperdine University.
"The problem for both the more liberal side of the court and the more conservative side is that neither fully understands Justice Kennedy," he added. "They work rather conscientiously at trying to understand his perspective, and winning him over."
Despite CJ Roberts' ambitious goal of a cohesive and unanimous Court, last term saw more 5-4 decisions than we have seen in years, and Kennedy was in the majority in every single one. This basically means that HUGELY important issues are being decided by a single person, a state of affairs that makes me pretty nervous.A number of other wild card factors are also present this term, which could make for a tumultuous and unpredictable judicial season.
Beyond the caseload, the individual dynamics among justices on the high court's bench could also play out along interesting storylines, among them:
In spite of all the uncertainty and apprehension hovering over the bench like a storm cloud, I am very excited about what this term might hold, and am crossing my fingers that any surprises that might occur end up being favorable to my position. Stay tuned. It could get interesting.
Conservapedia Conserva-spotlight: Rejoicing in Murder
Another campus shooting: A University of Memphis student was shot in his car around 10pm last night. Rumor has it he was a football player, although the University is waiting to release his name. They will say, though, that the incident "may have involved a current or former football player."
Over at Conservapedia, they sit in their little studio apartments on the internet 18 hours a day waiting for stuff like this to go down because they feel it supports their position that sitting in your apartment all day (with the occasional wide-stance fling in the airport) is the proper, moral way to live your life. I'm usually not this reductively nasty about the morons over there, but this headline pissed me off. From the Conservapedia main page:
"UNIVERSITY OF MEMPHIS LOCKED DOWN AFTER STUDENT ATHLETE REPORTEDLY IS SHOT DEAD OUTSIDE DORM More depravity on another of our college campuses! Secular-progressive movement claims another victim."
Yeah you fucking numbskulls, it's the "secular-progessive movement" that's pulling the triggers around here. Don't you have any shame about turning someone's murder, that nobody knows anything about yet, into knee-jerk advocation of your policy? Should Seriatim start the "this troop died *insert picture here* so we should obviously not be in Iraq" section? Have some respect for the sort of shock this thing entails, you fucking scumbags.
Over at Conservapedia, they sit in their little studio apartments on the internet 18 hours a day waiting for stuff like this to go down because they feel it supports their position that sitting in your apartment all day (with the occasional wide-stance fling in the airport) is the proper, moral way to live your life. I'm usually not this reductively nasty about the morons over there, but this headline pissed me off. From the Conservapedia main page:
"UNIVERSITY OF MEMPHIS LOCKED DOWN AFTER STUDENT ATHLETE REPORTEDLY IS SHOT DEAD OUTSIDE DORM More depravity on another of our college campuses! Secular-progressive movement claims another victim."
Yeah you fucking numbskulls, it's the "secular-progessive movement" that's pulling the triggers around here. Don't you have any shame about turning someone's murder, that nobody knows anything about yet, into knee-jerk advocation of your policy? Should Seriatim start the "this troop died *insert picture here* so we should obviously not be in Iraq" section? Have some respect for the sort of shock this thing entails, you fucking scumbags.
Whew
The Seriatim yellow alert has been removed in honor of Joe Mathlete's return to Marmaduke explanation. The alert level is now puke-colored, because it's Monday.
Over here at Seriatim we were getting nervous that those idiots over at the Blog of Hilarity (hey BOHChris, I'm not linking to you, neeneer neeneer neeneer) had pissed Joe off to the point where he didn't feel like explaining Marmaduke was any longer worthwhile. Luckily, Joe has tough skin, tough enough even to take on one of the Sunday strips, which are particularly retarded.
Whew.
Over here at Seriatim we were getting nervous that those idiots over at the Blog of Hilarity (hey BOHChris, I'm not linking to you, neeneer neeneer neeneer) had pissed Joe off to the point where he didn't feel like explaining Marmaduke was any longer worthwhile. Luckily, Joe has tough skin, tough enough even to take on one of the Sunday strips, which are particularly retarded.
Whew.
Friday
Beat me with the Irony Stick, why don't you?
The venerable 2d Circuit recently handed down a ruling invalidating a change in the FCC policy regarding "fleeting expletives". [Fox Television Stations, et. al. v. FCC] For the better part of 30 years, the FCC has said that they would not seek sanctions against networks that air such expletives, rather they would save their ire for those broadcasts that constituted "verbal shock treatment". Then came the Golden Globes, wherein Bono said that receiving his award was "really, really f-ing brilliant".
Apparently, this statement offended the delicate sensibilities of the Parents Television Council, who began pestering the FCC to take action against the network. In a startling reversal of decades of policy, the FCC abandoned their precedent and declared that fleeting and isolated use of expletives would no longer be tolerated. The networks, of course, were not too thrilled.
The ironical part is, the loudest howling is coming from Fox. I have always thought it a little odd that Fox, the network that brought us such quality programming as Temptation Island, and Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire, is also the network that provides a safe haven for the caterwauling champions of the religious right *cough*billoreilly*cough*. What do you want to bet that the Parents Television Council is composed largely of bible-beaters that Tivo O'Reilly on a regular basis?
Seems like this is a classic case of the right hand pretending not to know what the left hand is doing.
*I counted that the 2d Circuit included the word "fuck" in some form approximately 27 times in their opinion. Purely for illustrative purposes, of course. It is expected that the Supreme Court will grant cert on this issue. I REALLY hope they let me write for the majority. =)
Apparently, this statement offended the delicate sensibilities of the Parents Television Council, who began pestering the FCC to take action against the network. In a startling reversal of decades of policy, the FCC abandoned their precedent and declared that fleeting and isolated use of expletives would no longer be tolerated. The networks, of course, were not too thrilled.
The ironical part is, the loudest howling is coming from Fox. I have always thought it a little odd that Fox, the network that brought us such quality programming as Temptation Island, and Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire, is also the network that provides a safe haven for the caterwauling champions of the religious right *cough*billoreilly*cough*. What do you want to bet that the Parents Television Council is composed largely of bible-beaters that Tivo O'Reilly on a regular basis?
Seems like this is a classic case of the right hand pretending not to know what the left hand is doing.
*I counted that the 2d Circuit included the word "fuck" in some form approximately 27 times in their opinion. Purely for illustrative purposes, of course. It is expected that the Supreme Court will grant cert on this issue. I REALLY hope they let me write for the majority. =)
Thursday
Naughty Clarence...
So, the truth comes out. Our very own Clarence T. says that the whole Anita Hill thing was really about... wait for it... abortion.
"That was the elephant in the room... That was the issue. That is the issue that people are apparently so upset about..."
About Hill herself, CT asserts, in a really creepy [kinky] way:
"She was not the demure, religious, conservative person that they portrayed. That's not the person I knew," Thomas says. "She could defend herself, let's just put it that way...
Keep an eye on the Drudge report for updates.
"That was the elephant in the room... That was the issue. That is the issue that people are apparently so upset about..."
About Hill herself, CT asserts, in a really creepy [kinky] way:
"She was not the demure, religious, conservative person that they portrayed. That's not the person I knew," Thomas says. "She could defend herself, let's just put it that way...
Keep an eye on the Drudge report for updates.
What a Stoner!
As I'm sure most of you who care have heard (except aken, who never knows what he wants. The JP's here for you! Join my team! We'll win 5-4!), Michael Vick tested positive for the wacky tobaccy in violation of his, well, chillaxin' time before he gets thrown in the clink. After the airplane water bottle incident, you can't color many of us surprised. He probably needed some herbal refreshment to combat the going-to-jail jitters. Hey, he's human (we're still presuming).
At lunch today, Cranny made a great Vick-annals-of-stupidity point to Dr. Nugz and I: When he tried to bring the water bottle loaded with pot onto the plane, it must have been under the two-wrongs-made-a-right theory, as neither water bottles nor pot were allowed on the plane at the time. The craziest part about that story was when authories came out and said it wasn't pot in the water bottle. Was Vick hiding his oregano stash in his water bottle for the plane ride?
Wednesday
Breaking Law School News: St Johns LS Under Attack?
From Above the Law: Check it out here.
"They caught one person on the way to the school president's office wearing a black mask and carrying a rifle in a duffel bag, and are still looking for a second gunman. No shots were fired and no one was hurt from what I have heard. The whole campus has been on lockdown for the last few hours, but I think they are evacuating the campus as we speak."
Ruh roh.
"They caught one person on the way to the school president's office wearing a black mask and carrying a rifle in a duffel bag, and are still looking for a second gunman. No shots were fired and no one was hurt from what I have heard. The whole campus has been on lockdown for the last few hours, but I think they are evacuating the campus as we speak."
Ruh roh.
Bondi Beach Bikini Babes
I bet that my brothers on the Court would have liked to have been invited to this record setting event.
On a pretty irrelevant sidenote, I will always remember that the first video I ever saw on an episode of Beavis & Butthead was called "Bikini Girls With Machine Guns".
On a pretty irrelevant sidenote, I will always remember that the first video I ever saw on an episode of Beavis & Butthead was called "Bikini Girls With Machine Guns".
Call the whambulance?
I honestly can't decide how I feel about this.
On the one side, I have heard that it is pretty painful for a lactating woman to go too long without being able to express her milk.
On the other side, as a proponent of family planning, I argue that she should have thought about this before going and having another baby right away. She knew perfectly well this exam was coming up, and it was going to be grueling. I'm certainly not saying she should have aborted her baby to accommodate the exam, but it was her choice to get pregnant and if that is making it hard for her to get things done, that's her own damn fault. There will be another exam. She could put it off until she's finished breast-feeding.
I guess I take issue with her position that lactating is some kind of disability that should be given special accommodation. Pregnancy is a (largely) voluntary condition, and it seems like this baby was planned. Don't get me wrong, I'm not lashing out against all breeders. I understand why there need to be provisions made in the workplace for nursing mothers, they are just trying to keep doing their job and going on with their day to day lives. I see this as an entirely different situation. This exam is an isolated event and it can be postponed.
Furthermore, this woman is already getting special considerations for learning disabilities and being allowed to take the test over two days instead of one. Call me crazy, but I feel a little uneasy about granting medical licenses to people that can't pass the exam under the same rigorous circumstances applied to everyone else.
OK, I guess now I do know how I feel about this.
On the one side, I have heard that it is pretty painful for a lactating woman to go too long without being able to express her milk.
On the other side, as a proponent of family planning, I argue that she should have thought about this before going and having another baby right away. She knew perfectly well this exam was coming up, and it was going to be grueling. I'm certainly not saying she should have aborted her baby to accommodate the exam, but it was her choice to get pregnant and if that is making it hard for her to get things done, that's her own damn fault. There will be another exam. She could put it off until she's finished breast-feeding.
I guess I take issue with her position that lactating is some kind of disability that should be given special accommodation. Pregnancy is a (largely) voluntary condition, and it seems like this baby was planned. Don't get me wrong, I'm not lashing out against all breeders. I understand why there need to be provisions made in the workplace for nursing mothers, they are just trying to keep doing their job and going on with their day to day lives. I see this as an entirely different situation. This exam is an isolated event and it can be postponed.
Furthermore, this woman is already getting special considerations for learning disabilities and being allowed to take the test over two days instead of one. Call me crazy, but I feel a little uneasy about granting medical licenses to people that can't pass the exam under the same rigorous circumstances applied to everyone else.
OK, I guess now I do know how I feel about this.
Frank Lasee Hates Me
He must've read my previous post about how hard it is to criticize him when he goes hardcore spreadfire dbag on us, because he came up with another doozy today. He went out and listed all of the taxes that weren't there 100 years ago:
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world.
Dr. Nugz and I, in response, decided to brainstorm a list of other things that weren't there 100 years ago that we think are more responsible for our downfall from prosperity that Franky is lamenting:
(1) There were no internets, so our politicians were forced to spend their time making legislative decisions and designing policy instead of posting chain letters on their blog.
(2) Our country was hella racist, and, unlike the goddamn lawyers that protect civil rights, simply not hiring black people is quite efficient.
(3) We were still riding the wave of maintaining slavery for about 100 years longer than comparable nations.
(4) We had no telephones to tax, and therefore the people were richer than God. By the way Frank, I assume you haven't read Harry Potter because it's a book, but do you think phones work by magic?
(5) We weren't bombing numerous countries, nor providing for the mass transfer of funds from legitimate organizations to companies run by the Vice-President.
(6) Women were property, which would have mitigated the court-time necessary for Lasee's bitter divorce. The courts were therefore less clogged and we didn't need bullshit legislators calling the whambulance on the state bar.
(7) The government wasn't concerned with product safety: Allowing the market to determine the demand for lead paint and Chinese dog food, rather than supplanting our decision-making processes for theirs, at great regulatory financial expense. Also, we locked blue-collar workers in big buildings and forced them to work insane hours in shitty conditions. The economy was flowing like wine.
(8) The US used to be a production-based economy, and we've gone service-style over the last century. This transition occurred, obviously, because of dickhole legislators like Lasee that refused to look out for the interests of the middle-class laborers.
(9) Frank Lasee was not in office.
So Frank, I think reasonable people could certainly differ over whether your reasons or our reasons are responsible for our economy's decline. Well, unless we had only left it at 8: It seems to me like the fact you weren't in office 100 years ago (when things were good) but are now (when, according to you, things are bad) is pretty cut-and-dried proof that you, not taxes, are the primary cause.
Isn't the ability to take correlation and assert causation awesome?!
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world.
Dr. Nugz and I, in response, decided to brainstorm a list of other things that weren't there 100 years ago that we think are more responsible for our downfall from prosperity that Franky is lamenting:
(1) There were no internets, so our politicians were forced to spend their time making legislative decisions and designing policy instead of posting chain letters on their blog.
(2) Our country was hella racist, and, unlike the goddamn lawyers that protect civil rights, simply not hiring black people is quite efficient.
(3) We were still riding the wave of maintaining slavery for about 100 years longer than comparable nations.
(4) We had no telephones to tax, and therefore the people were richer than God. By the way Frank, I assume you haven't read Harry Potter because it's a book, but do you think phones work by magic?
(5) We weren't bombing numerous countries, nor providing for the mass transfer of funds from legitimate organizations to companies run by the Vice-President.
(6) Women were property, which would have mitigated the court-time necessary for Lasee's bitter divorce. The courts were therefore less clogged and we didn't need bullshit legislators calling the whambulance on the state bar.
(7) The government wasn't concerned with product safety: Allowing the market to determine the demand for lead paint and Chinese dog food, rather than supplanting our decision-making processes for theirs, at great regulatory financial expense. Also, we locked blue-collar workers in big buildings and forced them to work insane hours in shitty conditions. The economy was flowing like wine.
(8) The US used to be a production-based economy, and we've gone service-style over the last century. This transition occurred, obviously, because of dickhole legislators like Lasee that refused to look out for the interests of the middle-class laborers.
(9) Frank Lasee was not in office.
So Frank, I think reasonable people could certainly differ over whether your reasons or our reasons are responsible for our economy's decline. Well, unless we had only left it at 8: It seems to me like the fact you weren't in office 100 years ago (when things were good) but are now (when, according to you, things are bad) is pretty cut-and-dried proof that you, not taxes, are the primary cause.
Isn't the ability to take correlation and assert causation awesome?!
Who says judges don't have a sense of humor?
Every now and then, as I am poring over scholarly tomes of legalness, I come across something that makes me laugh out loud. I'm sure it is quite disconcerting to the other people here in the library of JPSLS, but I just can't help it.
I've just finished reading the very important case of Mattel v. MCA Records, 296 F.3d 894 (9th Cir. 2002). I'm sure all you pop culture aficionados out there remember a totally awesome song that came out circa 1997, a song called "Barbie Girl". It contained such classic lines as, "I'm a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world", and "You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere". Super-smart social commentary, dontcha think?
Anyway, Mattel, makers of the iconic Barbie doll and owners of the trademark rights in same, in a fit of righteous indignation, decided to sue the record label that marketed "Barbie Girl" in the US. Rather than suing them for total suckitude (a cause of action I would have solidly supported), they sued them for trademark infringement, dilution, unfair competition, yaddayaddayadda. Long story short, Mattel lost.
The fun part is, Judge Kozinski, that paragon of sober judiciousness, issued the opinion. He helpfully framed the issue at the very beginning of the case.
"If this were a sci-fi melodrama, it might be called Speech-Zilla meets Trademark Kong"
At the end of the case, he addresses MCA's cross-claim against Mattel for defamation.
"MCA filed a counterclaim for defamation based on [a] Mattel representative's use of the words "bank robber," "heist," "crime," and "theft". But all of these are variants of the invective most often hurled at accused infringers, namely "piracy". No one hearing this accusation understands intellectual property owners to be saying that infringers are nautical cutthroats with eye-patches and peg legs who board galleons to plunder cargo. In context, all these terms are nonactionable "rhetorical hyperbole". The parties are advised to chill."
Heh.
Frank Lasee's Tax Poem
Frank Lasee posted a retarded poem about taxes on Monday, and it's really been bothering me. Normally, there's an obvious tack to insult Frank's idiocy that I can spin into a cohesive commentary on why he's such a delta bravo. Go ahead and just glance at the poem. ... Where do I start?
Dr. Nugz thinks the rant should be about how he's spending his time reading and posting chain emails instead of doing anything legislatively productive. My first inclination was to comment on how Frank managed to exhaust his entire vocabulary in one short moronic ditty. There's also the fact that he opened it with "This poem is floating around the internet. At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the awful truth of it." I think that's a bald-faced lie: Frank thought it was funny because of what he sees as the awful truth of it. To venture into the short-bus actual content: "Put these words upon his tomb, 'Taxes drove me to my doom...'" But Frank, aren't the people who might actually die as a result of not having enough money the people that the tax dollars are helping?
What an incoherent ramble I just had to write, Frank, and I blame it on you: If you're going to be a douchebag in like a thousand different ways in one post, I'm not going to be able to spin it in a way that coherently demonstrates the crux of the douchebaggery. Hating on Frank Lasee, paradoxically, gets harder as he gets stupider.
Dr. Nugz thinks the rant should be about how he's spending his time reading and posting chain emails instead of doing anything legislatively productive. My first inclination was to comment on how Frank managed to exhaust his entire vocabulary in one short moronic ditty. There's also the fact that he opened it with "This poem is floating around the internet. At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the awful truth of it." I think that's a bald-faced lie: Frank thought it was funny because of what he sees as the awful truth of it. To venture into the short-bus actual content: "Put these words upon his tomb, 'Taxes drove me to my doom...'" But Frank, aren't the people who might actually die as a result of not having enough money the people that the tax dollars are helping?
What an incoherent ramble I just had to write, Frank, and I blame it on you: If you're going to be a douchebag in like a thousand different ways in one post, I'm not going to be able to spin it in a way that coherently demonstrates the crux of the douchebaggery. Hating on Frank Lasee, paradoxically, gets harder as he gets stupider.
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