And again, Easterbrook does us the honor:
Bronson Webster punched Leah Tourtillott in the face five times and, after she collapsed, kicked her in the face five times. The attack broke her nose and the bone around her right eye; it also caused lacerations that a physician concluded would leave prominent facial scars.
With a name like Bronson, I guess you have to kick the shit out of girls to prove to everyone that you don't have a fragile Y chromosome. The only defense to that sort of thing is to plead Shaggy right ("It wasn't me")? Nope. Bronson was a little pissed about his sentence:
Webster maintains that the offense level should have been 16 rather than 18. The range corresponding to an offense level of 16 would have been 46 to 57 months’ imprisonment. The two-level difference depends on the application of U.S.S.G. §2A2.2(b)(3), which prescribes seven offense levels for battery that produces “permanent or life-threatening bodily injury” but only five levels for an attack that causes “serious bodily injury”. According to Webster, Tourtillott’s injuries were “serious” but not “permanent or life-threatening”.
Your honor, when I kicked that girl in the face five times after she collapsed from my punches, I only caused serious injury, not permanent or life threatening injury. There should really be a sentencing enhancement for making arguments on appeal that demonstrate that you're a complete dickfor.
Friday
If You Don't Pay Your Filing Fees, Frank Easterbrook Will Eat Your Children
Ok, maybe not, but he will enjoin all pending litigation you've got going until you pay up.
Prince Foryoh was arrested for telephone harassment (although I have to imagine that's the tip of the iceberg) and, like any good guilty criminal, appealed like hell and filed 1983's against all the officers. He tried to proceed in forma pauperis, that request was granted, but then the district court judge sniffed out our pseudo-royal hero's plan:
In another of Foryoh’s suits, his mother gave testimony to the effect that she provides about 90% of his support—including meals, car, college tuition, textbooks, and housing. Foryoh concedes that his mother has provided (and continues to provide) financial support but insists that she is extending loans rather than making gifts. That is not how his mother characterized things, but like the district judge we need not resolve this intrafamilial dispute. Foryoh did not report the value of these “loans” on his affidavit and other filings. In response to a question whether he had received more than $200 from any source in the preceding year, Foryoh neglected to mention his mother’s assistance. So his application for leave to proceed in forma pauperis had a material omission and may well have been perjurious.
So, basically, Prince is a baby, and he can't make any more frivolous lawsuits until he pays the filing fees of an undisclosed amount for the claims that he lied about. He might actually prefer that Easterbrook eat his first born.
Prince Foryoh was arrested for telephone harassment (although I have to imagine that's the tip of the iceberg) and, like any good guilty criminal, appealed like hell and filed 1983's against all the officers. He tried to proceed in forma pauperis, that request was granted, but then the district court judge sniffed out our pseudo-royal hero's plan:
In another of Foryoh’s suits, his mother gave testimony to the effect that she provides about 90% of his support—including meals, car, college tuition, textbooks, and housing. Foryoh concedes that his mother has provided (and continues to provide) financial support but insists that she is extending loans rather than making gifts. That is not how his mother characterized things, but like the district judge we need not resolve this intrafamilial dispute. Foryoh did not report the value of these “loans” on his affidavit and other filings. In response to a question whether he had received more than $200 from any source in the preceding year, Foryoh neglected to mention his mother’s assistance. So his application for leave to proceed in forma pauperis had a material omission and may well have been perjurious.
So, basically, Prince is a baby, and he can't make any more frivolous lawsuits until he pays the filing fees of an undisclosed amount for the claims that he lied about. He might actually prefer that Easterbrook eat his first born.
Monday
Man Killed Golfing at Odana?
Looks like this morning a 75 year old man was hit by lightening and died at Odana Hills Golf Course in Madison. The golf course's director, Ray Shane, had lots of contradictory things to say:
Shane said it is the responsibility of golfers to monitor the weather and take action when it comes severe and dangerous.
Shane said staff members at Yahara Golf Course have and air gun available to alert golfers of severe weather, but that equipment is not available at Odana.
Shane said the golf course's policy on the threat of lightning on the course was reviewed by the city's risk manager and approved two years ago.
So, at other golf courses they have purchased equipment that alerts golfers of severe weather; however, it is the responsibility of the golfers to monitor the weather? Yahara, apparently, has a different view of the situation, or at least enough of a divergent view to motivate them to invest (pittance) in an air gun. It reminds me of a war story my boss told me this morning about how appraisers should never buy malpractice insurance because "it just gets you sued." Unfortunately, Odana Hills isn't judgment-proof, and if they were negligent in allowing this dude to continue golfing (as they, surprise of all surprises, indicate they weren't), it doesn't matter what the city's risk manager, the golf course director, or anyone else other than the court has to say.
Also, Mr. Shane, I hope the fact that you disclosed knowledge of Yahara's more stringent system is used against you: I hate the snarky "I know something bad happened on my watch but I'm going to spout out a bunch of bullshit on why it wasn't my fault" and would be happy to see it used against him.
Shane said it is the responsibility of golfers to monitor the weather and take action when it comes severe and dangerous.
Shane said staff members at Yahara Golf Course have and air gun available to alert golfers of severe weather, but that equipment is not available at Odana.
Shane said the golf course's policy on the threat of lightning on the course was reviewed by the city's risk manager and approved two years ago.
So, at other golf courses they have purchased equipment that alerts golfers of severe weather; however, it is the responsibility of the golfers to monitor the weather? Yahara, apparently, has a different view of the situation, or at least enough of a divergent view to motivate them to invest (pittance) in an air gun. It reminds me of a war story my boss told me this morning about how appraisers should never buy malpractice insurance because "it just gets you sued." Unfortunately, Odana Hills isn't judgment-proof, and if they were negligent in allowing this dude to continue golfing (as they, surprise of all surprises, indicate they weren't), it doesn't matter what the city's risk manager, the golf course director, or anyone else other than the court has to say.
Also, Mr. Shane, I hope the fact that you disclosed knowledge of Yahara's more stringent system is used against you: I hate the snarky "I know something bad happened on my watch but I'm going to spout out a bunch of bullshit on why it wasn't my fault" and would be happy to see it used against him.
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