What now? Microvewave butter flavored popcorn.
Apparently there's some chemical in there that does bad shit to your body. Color me shocked: The JP always figured that, given the ubiquitously-natural neon yellow shading of the popcorn when it comes out of the 'wave, it had to be good for you. On the bright side, this new outbreak should provide lots of money for both plaintiff and defense lawyers. Keep it up, corps!
Thursday
Feel-Good Story of the Week
Ohio State fans are engorging themselves on Appalachian State gear. The Buckeyes always pull for the little guy in the Big House.
On a tenuously related note, the JP has been seeing lots of frat boys around the UW campus wearing shirts that say "Wisconsin Dad" or "Wisconsin Grandpa". Besides the initial giggle when you realize that there's no hidden joke there, I guess I don't get it. With any blessing from the Buddha, these tools will knock up some ho and get the fathership they apparently find to be so culturally vogue.
On a tenuously related note, the JP has been seeing lots of frat boys around the UW campus wearing shirts that say "Wisconsin Dad" or "Wisconsin Grandpa". Besides the initial giggle when you realize that there's no hidden joke there, I guess I don't get it. With any blessing from the Buddha, these tools will knock up some ho and get the fathership they apparently find to be so culturally vogue.
Wednesday
A New Generation in Airplane Repair
Kill goats.
Ironically, in Antitrust, Dr. Nugz and I are discussing the Boeing merger in the '90s, and how Boeing's promises to repair planes in the future played into the analysis. If goat blood fixed planes, it might entirely preclude the need for antitrust law.
Ironically, in Antitrust, Dr. Nugz and I are discussing the Boeing merger in the '90s, and how Boeing's promises to repair planes in the future played into the analysis. If goat blood fixed planes, it might entirely preclude the need for antitrust law.
If Your Keg Only Has One Spiggot
then Seriatim's not coming to your party! Welcome to the OctopusTap. Despite its octogonal title, it has a mere four delicious beer delivery devices, and advertises itself as "Great for parties, caterers, rental programs, weddings."
Also, great for getting oh-too-sober law students to attend your party, turning it into a cacophony of bullshit. Hmm...
Also, great for getting oh-too-sober law students to attend your party, turning it into a cacophony of bullshit. Hmm...
Quote of the Day
From the ESPN coverage of Chris Benoit. Doctors now think that repeated concussions could have caused Benoit to go sufficiently fucking psycho that he would murder his wife and child, put bibles by their bodies, and then, in an underreported irony, killed himself on the weight bench.
Luckily, several ex-pro wrestlers opened an institute of some sort to convince people that pro wrestling might not be the best career choice. Their rhetoric, however, explains why these dolts picked it originally:
"I think it's the extreme that is in the wrestling industry today," he told reporters. "The human skull is not built to get hit by a chair or something."
And here I've been, all these years, bemoaning the chairs that could improve my life so just by thwacking me in the noggin.
Luckily, several ex-pro wrestlers opened an institute of some sort to convince people that pro wrestling might not be the best career choice. Their rhetoric, however, explains why these dolts picked it originally:
"I think it's the extreme that is in the wrestling industry today," he told reporters. "The human skull is not built to get hit by a chair or something."
And here I've been, all these years, bemoaning the chairs that could improve my life so just by thwacking me in the noggin.
Get the Man a WHHHAAAAAmbulance
George Bush has lots of cryfests at the White House because ihhhtttsss soooo hawwwwwdddd to be the pwwwwesident.
Now, my well of sympathy isn't bone dry: I'm sure there are easier jobs out there (being Ann Althouse, for example) but for Christ sakes man, if Bush were suing under an equitable waahhhh waaahhhh theory, I think the court would bar it on the basis of unclean tears.
Now, my well of sympathy isn't bone dry: I'm sure there are easier jobs out there (being Ann Althouse, for example) but for Christ sakes man, if Bush were suing under an equitable waahhhh waaahhhh theory, I think the court would bar it on the basis of unclean tears.
Larry Craig May Not Resign
Reports CNN.com.
If he doesn't, Bush will put a fish on his doorstep and five orange pips in his mailbox. If I were Bush, I'd be getting fed up with all these incompetant, scandal-inciting douchebags I've unfortunately apparently surrounded myself with politically. Even Gonzo was getting a little lippy before he left to go personally torture Gitmo detainees. Where's the mf duct tape?
If he doesn't, Bush will put a fish on his doorstep and five orange pips in his mailbox. If I were Bush, I'd be getting fed up with all these incompetant, scandal-inciting douchebags I've unfortunately apparently surrounded myself with politically. Even Gonzo was getting a little lippy before he left to go personally torture Gitmo detainees. Where's the mf duct tape?
Schnockeritis
Whew. Second day of school, first school day after the last first day of school party, first day in class with a case of schnockeritis. Although, I have to say, the party confabulators were all three at school bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning. God I'm not funny.
Tuesday
Shocking News of the Day
Men want hot women. This isn't even a pun on 'hot', either: I was expecting them to make some point about how men liked women with higher average body tempertures, because then it would qualify as news.
First Day of School at the UWLS
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was scurrying, not even Althouse.
The casebooks were placed by my shoes with great care,
in hope I remember them, with my bus fare.
Ok, that's all I got. I'm 1/2 hour through my first class. Touch me.
not a creature was scurrying, not even Althouse.
The casebooks were placed by my shoes with great care,
in hope I remember them, with my bus fare.
Ok, that's all I got. I'm 1/2 hour through my first class. Touch me.
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