Roland Martin, who JP'd never heard of, wrote a little polemic on marriage for cnn.com. The title is "Saving Marriages must be a National Priority," and, after chronicling his eight-year-old failed marriage, (which he, surprise of all surprises, thought shouldn't have ended) he wrote a particularly sappy and uninformative review of a movie where eight marriages aren't perfect. Mr. Martin thinks that's realistic.
Enter the specious arguments: "I strongly believe that for too many of us, we've accepted the notion that marriage will be perfect; that we won't endure trials and tribulations. But that isn't true. In fact, where is that ever true than in someone's fantasy life? What's amazing to me is that when faced with difficulty on the job, so many of us will buckle down and work harder to prove ourselves worthy to keep that job. But at home, we'd rather leave, even if that means putting our kids through a divorce."
First of all, with all due respect sir, this guy *two thumbs in* wants a fantasy life, and telling me something isn't going to be like it is in my fantasies just makes me think 'hmm, maybe I'll pass on this one and choose something that will be like my fantasies.' I like my fantasies.
Next, aside from the Protestant work ethic-ish theme of just continuing to work hard at something and eventually everything will work out, isn't there something missing here? When faced with difficulty on the job, don't we sometimes quit? If marriage is such a shitshow, where's the treatment of not getting married? It's like lamenting the depth and spikyness of a deep pit while ushering people to jump in. The counterargument is obvious in his job example: If they fire me and I can't find another job, I'm up shit creek without any TP. If I get divorced, I'll get a little peace and quiet.
Let me conclude you with Mr. Martin's conclusion: "Is it you I'm speaking to? Are you in the position where your marriage is crumbling before your very eyes? If so, take action today. Don't let divorce end it all. Remember, your trial today could eventually be your testimony tomorrow." First, how about the awful word choice picking 'trial' to operate as the antithesis to testimony, which is apparently related to a courtroom. Second, if it's you he's speaking to, you already fucked up. You're not going to get out with all of your appendages. Sorry!
Wednesday
Tuesday
Antitrust Flatulance Regulation
Professor Carstensen just informed our antitrust class of a violation due to excluding someone for 'passing gas'.
JP: farting?
Dr. Nugz: I think so
JP: excluding someone who farts can be an antitrust violation?
Dr. Nugz: That was the thought.
Wow.
JP: farting?
Dr. Nugz: I think so
JP: excluding someone who farts can be an antitrust violation?
Dr. Nugz: That was the thought.
Wow.
4 out of 5 fans aren't megalomaniacs
From ESPN.com: 1 in 5 fans do things to improve their favorite team's luck. I think this is the same sort of self-delusion that motivates people to buy lottery tickets: For some reason, people want to think that what they do and how they act has some sort of cosmic effect. "It's my birthday, I'm going to buy a lottery ticket!" As if the fact that it's your birthday has some sort of effect on either the number of winning tickets put out.
We all want to think that someone's upstairs keeping tally of our virtues and vices and somehow relating them to the random things that happen in the world, and it's a little depressing to realize that no, there's no score, no one's upstairs, and what you see is what you get. Stop brushing with different toothbrushes depending on who your team is playing and start, well, living in reality.
We all want to think that someone's upstairs keeping tally of our virtues and vices and somehow relating them to the random things that happen in the world, and it's a little depressing to realize that no, there's no score, no one's upstairs, and what you see is what you get. Stop brushing with different toothbrushes depending on who your team is playing and start, well, living in reality.
Monday
Frank Lasee, meet the Green Bay Gazette
On October 14th, the Green Bay Gazette interviewed our favorite moronic Wisconsin legislator Dr. Franky L. We learned lots of interesting stuff:
-Frank was on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart after he announced his 'more guns in schools' platform.
-Frank likes us: "Q. You don't think it's fair that the Journal Sentinel columnist brought up your personal information. A. You know, I'm an elected official, I guess I'm a pinata, you can attack me, and that's part of life — I have a third child, I have three daughters who are wonderful, beautiful."
-If you're wondering what the end of that quote is about, Franky confirmed the existence of an out-of-wedlock daughter, which means we can talk about it all we want without fear of a defamation action. He hates himself, though: "I highly recommend the more preferred order of getting married and then have children. I would recommend that for everyone."
Only one more little tidbit merits mention. In defense of guns in schools: "Are you aware that today we have gun safes that are only accessible by thumbprints, up to five thumbprints? Some of the argument or concern was that students might get hold of a school's weapon easily … the protocol I would expect schools to be taught is that the weapon is only to be taken out when someone is in the school or coming into the school with a gun."
It's always nice when those school shooters call in advance so we can get our whole faculty over to the gun safe to open it up and be ready for them!
-Frank was on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart after he announced his 'more guns in schools' platform.
-Frank likes us: "Q. You don't think it's fair that the Journal Sentinel columnist brought up your personal information. A. You know, I'm an elected official, I guess I'm a pinata, you can attack me, and that's part of life — I have a third child, I have three daughters who are wonderful, beautiful."
-If you're wondering what the end of that quote is about, Franky confirmed the existence of an out-of-wedlock daughter, which means we can talk about it all we want without fear of a defamation action. He hates himself, though: "I highly recommend the more preferred order of getting married and then have children. I would recommend that for everyone."
Only one more little tidbit merits mention. In defense of guns in schools: "Are you aware that today we have gun safes that are only accessible by thumbprints, up to five thumbprints? Some of the argument or concern was that students might get hold of a school's weapon easily … the protocol I would expect schools to be taught is that the weapon is only to be taken out when someone is in the school or coming into the school with a gun."
It's always nice when those school shooters call in advance so we can get our whole faculty over to the gun safe to open it up and be ready for them!
Sunday
Dumbeldore is Gay!
J.K. Rowling steps up the controversy a little bit! http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/10/20/harry.potter.ap/index.html And it's about time, too. There are not enough gay wizards in children's books.
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