It's from a March Above the Law post, but the JP just found it. It's the motion that exemplifies the values we hold dear here at Seriatim: The motion for an extension due to "inebriation constituting excusable neglect." It was granted, too!
Friday
Your Honor, I'm sorry, I was schnockered
It's from a March Above the Law post, but the JP just found it. It's the motion that exemplifies the values we hold dear here at Seriatim: The motion for an extension due to "inebriation constituting excusable neglect." It was granted, too!
It's a Sad Day at Seriatim
because the American people don't like us so much any more. Still, 57% approval beats the hell out of our executive, but just last January 72% of this great, great, nation thought we were the bomb ass shit.
Ant, AKen, Clarince T, I think we need to convene the Court with a lot of booze and figure out what we need to do to re-rally morale. Some ideas: Get Roberts on a diet; Make sure Ruthie takes her meds; Remove the stick that seems to be lodged in Sammy A's nether regions; Tell Souter to stop being such a pussy.
We'll get this straightened out.
Harley Davidson: Trademark Hogs
Harley Davidson v. Top Quality Service descending slowly from the Seventh heavenly Circle yesterday. At issue was whether or not cruise advertisements marketed to motorcycle riders (yes, motorcycle cruises where motorcycles are forbidden; all you get is the company) as "Hogs on the High Seas" violates H-D's use of H.O.G. as the Harley Owner's Group (or, at least, whether H-D's claim should've been dismissed on summary judgment.)
The JP would've dismissed this one for mootness. To steal cadence from the now-infamous Contracts I student at the JPSLS who dropped "Anyone who thinks a burrito is a sandwich is retarded" on a 100 student Contracts I class last fall, the JP thinks anyone who goes on motorcycle trips without a motorcycle could probably invest in some faculties.
Thursday
Seriatim Cultural Spotlight: Text Message Composition
The JP really gets his robes in a bunch when he's trying to type text messages using the "Word" function that fills in the word for you, and the phone makes decisions so bad that, if something comparably moronic was proposed politically, it could only be attributable to Frank Lasee. You think they'd hire a few compsci nerds for the summer, give them a list of the most common words in the English language in order of popularity, and tell them to go to town, right? No, they definitely let some dumbasses in on the process, and every time I find a new one, it makes me think mean thoughts about Frank Lasee since, as implied anecdotally above, I equate him with people doing things badly.
For example:
I want to type sushi. I hit 7, s; 8, su; 7 again, sus; 4, sush; 4 again, pushi. Thank you LG: Next time I'm hungry for some goddamn pushi I'll give you a holler.
Another favorite is trying to type ass. 1, a; 7, as; 7 again, app. That's 'app' as in the first three letters of 'apply', as in, I want to apply for a cellphone manufactured by a company that understands how often I use the word 'ass' and that wants to perpetuate that activity.
Sauce Watch: JP's Fridge
Two new sixer purchases last night:
Victory's St. Boisterous Hellerbock is pretty delicious. I didn't realize it was a Maibock until I got it home, but it doesn't make me cringe like Capital's Maibock and it has some Belgian undertones, which is what I was really looking for. Also, it might be the most expensive sixer I've ever bought, at $11.99.
Dark Horse Brewery's "One" Oatmeal Stout is named after my cohorse and, coming from Michigan like a few other beers JP'll heartily imbibe, I gave it a shot. It's a little bitter, though. I bet they put a lot of oats in there for the bitter and astringent taste wikipedia has biasedly chronicled.
SIDENOTE: After reading Clarince T's post, JP realized that for his whole life he's been fatally underusing the word 'schnockered'.
Sauce Watch: East
I had lunch today at a lovely Midtown Irish pub called Connolly's. They were out of Boddington's, and instead served me Wexler's Irish Cream Ale. This monolith of judicial stablility who sleeps with the orgininal Constitution for a blankie gives 2 enthusiastic thumbs up to this totally LEGAL alien brew.
It is this type of fine contribution to the melting pot of American culture that makes me feel A-OK about treating Irish immigrants with a little more deference than other kinds of immigrants. While all those beers from south of the border are OK, they all kind of taste the same and don't really offer me anything I can't get in a micro-brewed Summer Ale available from a patriotic American brewery. Wexler's Irish Cream Ale, on the other hand, was an adventure for the taste buds, and was the perfect choice for a one-beer lunch (by one-beer lunch, I mean one where I needed something that would satisfy me enough that I wouldn't have several beers with lunch and thus come back to work utterly schnockered).
Thanks Irish. You can stay. For now.
It is this type of fine contribution to the melting pot of American culture that makes me feel A-OK about treating Irish immigrants with a little more deference than other kinds of immigrants. While all those beers from south of the border are OK, they all kind of taste the same and don't really offer me anything I can't get in a micro-brewed Summer Ale available from a patriotic American brewery. Wexler's Irish Cream Ale, on the other hand, was an adventure for the taste buds, and was the perfect choice for a one-beer lunch (by one-beer lunch, I mean one where I needed something that would satisfy me enough that I wouldn't have several beers with lunch and thus come back to work utterly schnockered).
Thanks Irish. You can stay. For now.
"Mrs. Krabopple, Mommy and Daddy are sparking fat blunts in the living room!"
Mommy and Daddy appealed their resultant drug sentence, however, because their nine-year-old was improperly interrogated without any warnings or counsel. By improperly interrogated, of course, they mean that their child blamed her school behavioral woes to the guidance counselor on the fact that her parents were on drug runs a lot and burning a few down in the homestead.
Hoyt [guidance counselor] spoke with T.H. [kid] in another part of the school. T.H. said that the “stuff” that she previously had mentioned to Westerfield was marijuana and that she saw it in her home every day. She also told Hoyt that her mother and Jay often went on drug runs and either left her home alone or brought her along. T.H. told Hoyt that she had been left alone many times, that her mother and Jay smoked “blunts” in the home, that she had seen marijuana on the kitchen table, and that she saw it on top of her mother’s bedroom dresser the previous night.
"Honey, if you don't make the nine-year-old smoke it, she's gonna remember everything!"
You Think You're Original Clarince T?
Slate doesn't. Out on a witch hunt from the start against a dear colleague of mine, Doug Kendall and Jim Ryan use "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" and the voluntary integration cases to demonstrate the contradiction in Thomas' originalism: That he invokes the will of the founding fathers when it suits his conservative points and not when it doesn't.
In Morse, they say, Clarince T argued that the original First Amendment didn't give schoolchildren any rights inside the schoolhouse because the founders didn't contemplate that. But then they say Mr. T contradicts himself in voluntary integration, because he doesn't ask whether the Fourteenth Amendment was originally meant to implicate voluntary integration:
The question is not asked because it does not yield an answer Justice Thomas would like. There is no way to make an argument, at least with a straight face, that the 14th Amendment was originally understood to prohibit voluntary school integration. No way. Indeed, given how flimsy the evidence is for Justice Thomas' other argument—that students have no free-speech rights in school—it's clear that he is not shy about stitching together a historical tale from very slim pieces of material. The fact that he doesn't even try to make the historical case in the voluntary integration decision speaks volumes.
Of course, Mr. Kendall and Mr. Ryan fail to mention all the cases where Thomas did cite to originalism: Seems to me like they just cherry-picked their examples to get to the conclusion they wanted, which kind of undermines the impact of their claim that Thomas did the same thing...
Wednesday
Why Lawyers Shouldn't Play Monopoly
My co-clerk told me of a monopoly game that took place last night at Captain Statute's place between four lawyers. He described to me how he was using a security interest in his own property ("one of the red ones") as collateral for loans used to keep himself out of bankruptcy. There were apparently some bankruptcy issues that came up when one player ran out of cash: Article 9 of the UCC may or may not have been referenced to figure out creditor priority and the redistribution of the equity in the estate. Nothing further.
UPDATE: It's for sure that the woman in that picture was not there.
MF Scientology
Slate has another post about Scientology, this time claiming that it isn't as bad as we all think it is. The JP tends to disagree, but hey, the First Amendment gives people the right to worship L. Ron. Hubbard if that's what glazes their gavels. There are just a few points in the article that trouble me:
Some Americans may consider Scientology perhaps a cult, maybe a violent sect, and certainly very weird. And, like many, I find the Church of Scientology odd, to say the least. But Scientology is no more bizarre than other religions. And it's the similarities between Scientology and, say, Christianity and Judaism that make us so uncomfortable. We need to hate Scientology, lest we hate ourselves.
I think it's in fact the notable differences between Scientology and other religions ("services" are expensive, for example) that make it seem more like multi-level marketing than religion that inspire singular dislike of Scientology. Ant, who participates in several pyramid schemes, is actually building his own Scientology church in his cookie-cutter white bread suburban backyard. Also, as a devout agnostic with atheistic tendencies, not hating Scientology wouldn't necessarily malign me to hating myself, as I think the confusing and internally-inconsistent last two sentences are trying to imply.
And what about the "Xenu" creation myth anti-Scientologists are so fond of? Scientologists have promised me that it is simply not part of their theology—some say they learned about Xenu from South Park. Several ex-Scientologists have sworn the opposite. Given his frequent conflation of science fiction, theology, and incoherent musings, I think that Hubbard may have taught that eons ago, the galactic warlord Xenu dumped 13.5 trillion beings in volcanoes on Earth, blowing them up and scattering their souls. But I'm not sure that it is an important part of Scientology's teachings. And if Xenu is part of the church's theology, it's no stranger than what's in Genesis. It's just newer and so seems weirder.
Yeah, but I feel like we can forgive the Christians and Jews for Genesis: We didn't even know what gravity was, what humans were, or what, if anything, was going on with those little dots of light in the sky. Not that we're omniscient now; I just think our information has improved to the point where postulating crazily-involved creation stories that slit Occam's own throat is something worth anyone's time.
Sauce Watch
Dogfish Head Shelter Pale Ale: Tastes like Miller Lite.
Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA: If you're ever faced with a choice between the Shelter and the 60 Minute, please, get the 60 Minute. I think it's top three pale ales made in the US.
Victory's Storm King Stout: The preferred beer of Dr. H.J. Nugz, it is pretty delicious. Big, rich stout.
Breckenridge Avalanche Amber Ale: Tastes like butt. They call it "subtle" on the website; I call it tasteless and I'm never buying any Breckenridge beer again.
Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA: If you're ever faced with a choice between the Shelter and the 60 Minute, please, get the 60 Minute. I think it's top three pale ales made in the US.
Victory's Storm King Stout: The preferred beer of Dr. H.J. Nugz, it is pretty delicious. Big, rich stout.
Breckenridge Avalanche Amber Ale: Tastes like butt. They call it "subtle" on the website; I call it tasteless and I'm never buying any Breckenridge beer again.
“More people throw up in the dining room of Per Se than your average college bar.”
The NYTimes has a story about people getting too wasted at nice restaurants. I think their goal was to make people who drink booze that's far too expensive ("There was a $400 bottle of Rioja. There was a $3,500 magnum of Burgundy") just look like alcoholics. There are the dudes who pass out in the bathroom, the diners who sleep through their meals, and the three mid-20s women who go swimming in the marble fountain in the center of the dining room.
At the end of a long lunch three well-dressed, then undressed, women in their mid-20s decided that the marble pool in the center of the main dining room looked like a nifty spot for a dip, said Julian Niccolini, one of the restaurant’s owners.
So they took one, wearing nothing more than their panties, he said.
Asked about their motivation, Mr. Niccolini answered: “I’m not going to say the word drunk. They were very happy. They were very excited.” As well they should have been. A wealthy gentleman nearby had been buying them their drinks, which included bottles of Montrachet, Cristal and Cheval Blanc. The total bill came to more than $7,000, Mr. Niccolini said.
If the rich guy had spent his money better, he could've seen a lot more skin than that for $7,000.
I have to say, though, I'm just not impressed. The haute couture is pretending you can imitate a night of belligerence fueled by a handle of cheap sauce you split with a buddy in a restaurant paying hundreds of dollars for each bottle of wine. Maybe there's something prodigiously satisfying about spending thousands of dollars to feel like crap the next morning. All the JP knows is that, when he looks down into that toilet after consummating his wastedness, he doesn't want to see more than $10 worth of ejectment in the loo.
Colbert: Carpet Bomb Wisconsin
From Monday night's Colbert Repor:
On Monday night's "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert listed badgers as his No. 1 threat of the week in his "Threat Down," citing an Australian report of human flesh-eating badgers terrorizing the Iraqi port city of Basra.
Citing the importance of fighting the badgers "over there" so "they don't burrow here," he changed his tune mid-sentence.
"Just to be safe, as a preemptive measure, I say we carpet bomb the University of Wisconsin," added Colbert. "Bucky. Bucky -- that sounds like an Arab name."
On Monday night's "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert listed badgers as his No. 1 threat of the week in his "Threat Down," citing an Australian report of human flesh-eating badgers terrorizing the Iraqi port city of Basra.
Citing the importance of fighting the badgers "over there" so "they don't burrow here," he changed his tune mid-sentence.
"Just to be safe, as a preemptive measure, I say we carpet bomb the University of Wisconsin," added Colbert. "Bucky. Bucky -- that sounds like an Arab name."
Bullwinkle, Esq.
Nunez v. United States came out of the sanctified and sanctimonious 7th Cir. yesterday and is one of those appeals that should've never removed the judges from their slumber swathed in the sheets of Justice. Not only did Mr. Nunez sign a waiver of appeal, his primary basis for relief was that he didn't make a voluntary plea because he couldn't understand his lawyer, when he admitted at his plea hearing that he speaks some English and could answer questions about his plea. Not likely.
His secondary claim was ineffective assistance, since his lawyer, perhaps in light of the waiver of appeal, didn't file a notice to the 7th Circuit. The metaphor Easterbrook chooses to demonstrate when counsel is ineffective is a little tenuous:
These decisions all rely on the holding of Roe v. Flores-Ortega, 528 U.S. 470 2000), that a criminal defendant has a statutory right to appellate review, and that when counsel utterly frustrates that right by failing to appeal on his client’s request, counsel’s performance is automatically ineffective. A lawyer who does not show up for trial might as well be a moose, and giving the defendant a moose does not satisfy the sixth amendment. See United States v. Cronic, 466 U.S. 648 (1984). The same understanding applies when the lawyer does not show up for appeal.
If United States v. Cronic is not about a moose public defender, someone should poke Easterbrook and make sure he's still alive.
Tuesday
How Good is Michael Phelps?
Phelps didn't swim the 200 butterfly, probably his strongest event (and the first one he broke a world record in) at US Nationals this week, because he's swimming off-events (like the 200 breaststroke). Davis Tarwater, Phelps' teammate at Club Wolverine (boo hiss), won Nationals in the 200 fly by about a half-second and was interviewed after the race:
When asked what he's done differently in training toward this meet, Tarwater replied that "I went back to the basics this year and looked at extensive film with Coach Bowman." He compared tonight's win to his 2006 NCAA title in the similar event: "It feels really good to come back and take this ... now, to be second at [Olympic] Trials - that's the goal."
If only to be second.
When asked what he's done differently in training toward this meet, Tarwater replied that "I went back to the basics this year and looked at extensive film with Coach Bowman." He compared tonight's win to his 2006 NCAA title in the similar event: "It feels really good to come back and take this ... now, to be second at [Olympic] Trials - that's the goal."
If only to be second.
Conservapedia Conserva-Spotlight: Homosexuality
The Conservapedia entry on homosexuality is really impossible to preface. Like its fatally-biased older cousin Wikipedia, Conservapedia creates sections for every article and fills in some facts about different aspects of whatever is being explained. A few examples:
Ex-Homosexuals
Many people have reported leaving homosexuality and becoming heterosexual through their Christian faith.
Homosexual Public Indecency Tolerated in San Francisco
In San Francisco there has [sic] been notable cases of homosexual public indecency that has been tolerated. Christianity Today states the following regarding Pastor David Innes regarding the Hamilton Square Baptist Church riot:
“Innes says he blames not police, but those in political control of the city, particularly the board of supervisors. "You really can't compare San Francisco with any other city," says Innes. "Homosexual advocates infiltrate and dominate the political structures here. Police are in straitjackets. They can't do their job. They've been instructed not to arrest homosexuals."
Reparative Therapy
Reparative therapy is a technique of trying to talk people out of homosexuality (see psychotherapy).
Dr. Nicolosi argues that, at its root, homosexuality is not a sexual problem – it is a gender-identity problem. Normal stages of emotional development have been interrupted, and this can lead to same sex bonding in order to attain affirmation. These relationships tend to implode, leaving the homosexual hurt and confused. Furthermore, Nicolosi claims that there is no such thing as a homosexual, but only heterosexuals that have a homosexual problem. This may sound like splitting hairs, but it actually opens the door for the dissatisfied homosexual oriented person to change, because such people can begin viewing themselves as fundamentally heterosexual. This approach has had a great deal of success.
Next time you have trouble sleeping at night, just remember that Conservapedia's there fighting the good fight so you don't have to.
Ex-Homosexuals
Many people have reported leaving homosexuality and becoming heterosexual through their Christian faith.
Homosexual Public Indecency Tolerated in San Francisco
In San Francisco there has [sic] been notable cases of homosexual public indecency that has been tolerated. Christianity Today states the following regarding Pastor David Innes regarding the Hamilton Square Baptist Church riot:
“Innes says he blames not police, but those in political control of the city, particularly the board of supervisors. "You really can't compare San Francisco with any other city," says Innes. "Homosexual advocates infiltrate and dominate the political structures here. Police are in straitjackets. They can't do their job. They've been instructed not to arrest homosexuals."
Reparative Therapy
Reparative therapy is a technique of trying to talk people out of homosexuality (see psychotherapy).
Dr. Nicolosi argues that, at its root, homosexuality is not a sexual problem – it is a gender-identity problem. Normal stages of emotional development have been interrupted, and this can lead to same sex bonding in order to attain affirmation. These relationships tend to implode, leaving the homosexual hurt and confused. Furthermore, Nicolosi claims that there is no such thing as a homosexual, but only heterosexuals that have a homosexual problem. This may sound like splitting hairs, but it actually opens the door for the dissatisfied homosexual oriented person to change, because such people can begin viewing themselves as fundamentally heterosexual. This approach has had a great deal of success.
Next time you have trouble sleeping at night, just remember that Conservapedia's there fighting the good fight so you don't have to.
Vick Co-Defendant Says Vick
financed the majority of Bad Newz Kennels. JP was shocked: I figured Vick was putting in the sweat equity. Where have you gone, Gordon Smith, business organizations turns its lonely eyes to you.
SIDENOTE: The headline to the ESPN article once you click on it is "Co-defendant says he wasn't offered sentence deal to cooperate". What I think they mean is that, like in all cases, the prosecutor couldn't offer a guaranteed deal, because the judge sentences... Hopefully the guy didn't plead guilty expecting the same sentence as he would've gotten otherwise; I think ESPN just has a very narrow construction of the word "deal".
SIDENOTE: The headline to the ESPN article once you click on it is "Co-defendant says he wasn't offered sentence deal to cooperate". What I think they mean is that, like in all cases, the prosecutor couldn't offer a guaranteed deal, because the judge sentences... Hopefully the guy didn't plead guilty expecting the same sentence as he would've gotten otherwise; I think ESPN just has a very narrow construction of the word "deal".
Madison Ordinance
23.20, Regulations Concerning Marijuana and Cannabis, surprised JP a bit:
(3) A person may casually possess marijuana or cannabis in a private place. Such casual possession is not a crime and is not subject to forfeiture.
I like how they regulate paranoid possession but leave the chill, casual stoners alone.
(3) A person may casually possess marijuana or cannabis in a private place. Such casual possession is not a crime and is not subject to forfeiture.
I like how they regulate paranoid possession but leave the chill, casual stoners alone.
Why Does Frank Lasee Hate Lawyers?
Ann Althouse, my former Federal Jurisdiction professor at the JPSLS, has some dirt from the WisSJ. This is from the transcript taken at his divorce. I think it's clear Mr. Lasee would rather have been at home dreaming up stupid policy this day:
The judge noted court officials witnessed Lasee punching his lawyer while in court.
"I didn 't punch him," Lasee said last week. "I poked him in the arm to get his attention."
Lasee twice asked for a new judge in the case, including on the day the second judge began issuing her decision.
Brown County Circuit Judge Sue Bischel sounded exasperated when she addressed Lasee on June 27, 2003:
"Mr. Lasee, if you laugh at me one more time, I am really going to get ornery. I have tried very hard to treat you with respect. I see you smirking. I see you grinning. I can hear it. I am so disappointed. ... I have found over the years that it is getting increasingly difficult to get people to respect the court system and the judicial system.
So he socks his attorney and then pisses off the judge. Anyone think Mr. Lasee is moronic enough to top that?
Later in the hearing, Lasee fired his attorney, then asked to make "a brief statement." Bischel allowed this, although she said it challenged her authority to control the timing of the trial.
Lasee told her, "You lied from bench."
After he repeatedly interrupted the judge, she warned Lasee he would be held in contempt of court.
"I do not recognize the legitimacy of this court because you are not ... unbiased. I have proof to that effect," Lasee said, then walked out of the courtroom.
Judge Bischel: "Call the court officer. Mr. Lasee, you are in contempt. Reluctantly, I am reluctantly finding this gentleman in contempt. I have tolerated more from him today than I probably have from anyone else who has come into the court. His behavior was way over the top."
Later, she noted Lasee answered and made cell-phone calls while his wife was on the witness stand, and left to use the phone and rest room during proceedings, adding, "I have never had that happen in 11 years."
My personal favorite line? "You lied from bench".
UPDATE: Above the Law picked this one up too.
The judge noted court officials witnessed Lasee punching his lawyer while in court.
"I didn 't punch him," Lasee said last week. "I poked him in the arm to get his attention."
Lasee twice asked for a new judge in the case, including on the day the second judge began issuing her decision.
Brown County Circuit Judge Sue Bischel sounded exasperated when she addressed Lasee on June 27, 2003:
"Mr. Lasee, if you laugh at me one more time, I am really going to get ornery. I have tried very hard to treat you with respect. I see you smirking. I see you grinning. I can hear it. I am so disappointed. ... I have found over the years that it is getting increasingly difficult to get people to respect the court system and the judicial system.
So he socks his attorney and then pisses off the judge. Anyone think Mr. Lasee is moronic enough to top that?
Later in the hearing, Lasee fired his attorney, then asked to make "a brief statement." Bischel allowed this, although she said it challenged her authority to control the timing of the trial.
Lasee told her, "You lied from bench."
After he repeatedly interrupted the judge, she warned Lasee he would be held in contempt of court.
"I do not recognize the legitimacy of this court because you are not ... unbiased. I have proof to that effect," Lasee said, then walked out of the courtroom.
Judge Bischel: "Call the court officer. Mr. Lasee, you are in contempt. Reluctantly, I am reluctantly finding this gentleman in contempt. I have tolerated more from him today than I probably have from anyone else who has come into the court. His behavior was way over the top."
Later, she noted Lasee answered and made cell-phone calls while his wife was on the witness stand, and left to use the phone and rest room during proceedings, adding, "I have never had that happen in 11 years."
My personal favorite line? "You lied from bench".
UPDATE: Above the Law picked this one up too.
Brady Quinn Still Holding Out
for the third pick in the NFL draft. Quinn, expected to be taken within the top 10 in the 2007 NFL Draft, wasn't selected until the 22nd pick when the Browns finally traded up and had mercy on our overrated friend. Quinn's agent, Tom Condon, said the negotiations with the Browns are being held up by the Browns' refusal to give up the third pick: "They made a mistake taking that Thomas meathead third; They knew that was Brady's pick. We're holding out until we get an apology from the Browns for handing Commissioner Goodell the wrong card and from Josh Thomas for putting his fat ass in our slot."
Rumors coming out of the Browns organization indicate that never, ever, will they pick another primadonna Notre Dame quarterback again.
Rumors coming out of the Browns organization indicate that never, ever, will they pick another primadonna Notre Dame quarterback again.
Hey, Fatass, Drop and Give Me Your Vacation Time
From the the LATimes via Slate: Companies are fining their employees for being overweight.
Looking for new ways to trim the fat and boost workers' health, some employers are starting to make overweight employees pay if they don't slim down.
Others, citing growing medical costs tied to obesity, are offering fit workers lucrative incentives that shave thousands of dollars a year off healthcare premiums.
In one of the boldest moves yet, an Indiana-based hospital chain last month said it decided on the stick rather than the carrot. Starting in 2009, Clarian Health Partners will charge employees as much as $30 every two weeks unless they meet weight, cholesterol and blood-pressure guidelines that the company deems healthy.
Before y'all start chomping at the Cheetos to defend the embattled chunkster employees, remember, the way we currently do health care in this country is through your job.
UnitedHealthcare, a nationwide insurer, introduced a plan this month that, for a typical family, includes a $5,000 yearly deductible that can be reduced to $1,000 if an employee isn't obese and doesn't smoke.
Last summer, a similar plan was offered to county workers in Benton County, Ark. The $2,500-a-year deductible can be reduced to $500 if a worker meets low height-to-weight ratios during yearly on-site physicals.
If workplace insurers are willing to charge such different deductibles for obese smokers and normal-weight non-smokers, it makes total sense for the employer to pass those costs onto the employee for a couple reasons. By putting the cost of the unhealthy behavior on the person making the health-related decisions, we encourage them to reduce the expensive behavior (any fellow Carsty vets remember the ship captain tying his boat down?). Moreover, from the insurer's perspective, more information about the character of the risks in their pool will allow them to price the insurance more accurately.
We're the exception to the rule in the US providing health insurance largely through the employer, and there are lots of reasons why that's become the most efficient solution. But lumping a whole group of employees together as a health insurance unit is a little awkward: It'd be easier to buy insurance, say, for all 30-35 year-old women who don't smoke and weigh between 150 and 155 lbs. Their risk will be by and large the same. Since that isn't the case in a group of employees, the JP is down with allowing the employer to pass on some of the costs generated by societally-expensive unhealthy behavior to the employees taking part.
Even though Courtney Jackson, 28, and I agree on this conclusion, her reasoning indicates that she's probably a real dumbass:
"At first, I was mad when I thought I would be charged $30 for being overweight," said Courtney Jackson, 28, a customer service representative at Clarian. "But when I found out it was going to be broken into segments — like just $10 for being overweight — it sounded better."
Looking for new ways to trim the fat and boost workers' health, some employers are starting to make overweight employees pay if they don't slim down.
Others, citing growing medical costs tied to obesity, are offering fit workers lucrative incentives that shave thousands of dollars a year off healthcare premiums.
In one of the boldest moves yet, an Indiana-based hospital chain last month said it decided on the stick rather than the carrot. Starting in 2009, Clarian Health Partners will charge employees as much as $30 every two weeks unless they meet weight, cholesterol and blood-pressure guidelines that the company deems healthy.
Before y'all start chomping at the Cheetos to defend the embattled chunkster employees, remember, the way we currently do health care in this country is through your job.
UnitedHealthcare, a nationwide insurer, introduced a plan this month that, for a typical family, includes a $5,000 yearly deductible that can be reduced to $1,000 if an employee isn't obese and doesn't smoke.
Last summer, a similar plan was offered to county workers in Benton County, Ark. The $2,500-a-year deductible can be reduced to $500 if a worker meets low height-to-weight ratios during yearly on-site physicals.
If workplace insurers are willing to charge such different deductibles for obese smokers and normal-weight non-smokers, it makes total sense for the employer to pass those costs onto the employee for a couple reasons. By putting the cost of the unhealthy behavior on the person making the health-related decisions, we encourage them to reduce the expensive behavior (any fellow Carsty vets remember the ship captain tying his boat down?). Moreover, from the insurer's perspective, more information about the character of the risks in their pool will allow them to price the insurance more accurately.
We're the exception to the rule in the US providing health insurance largely through the employer, and there are lots of reasons why that's become the most efficient solution. But lumping a whole group of employees together as a health insurance unit is a little awkward: It'd be easier to buy insurance, say, for all 30-35 year-old women who don't smoke and weigh between 150 and 155 lbs. Their risk will be by and large the same. Since that isn't the case in a group of employees, the JP is down with allowing the employer to pass on some of the costs generated by societally-expensive unhealthy behavior to the employees taking part.
Even though Courtney Jackson, 28, and I agree on this conclusion, her reasoning indicates that she's probably a real dumbass:
"At first, I was mad when I thought I would be charged $30 for being overweight," said Courtney Jackson, 28, a customer service representative at Clarian. "But when I found out it was going to be broken into segments — like just $10 for being overweight — it sounded better."
Looks like the Birthday Party
for Dr. H.J. Nugz and Captain Statute wasn't the only crowd at the Kareoke Kid last Friday night. The Capital Times was there too, by way of Mary Rathbun. Caption:
The dispatcher's voice was clear as cab driver Ramy Renor headed for the Karaoke Kid to pick up a fare about 1:30 Friday night.
I have to say though, from what I've heard about the party's showing at the singin' KK, Ms. Rathbun missed a number of scoops.
The dispatcher's voice was clear as cab driver Ramy Renor headed for the Karaoke Kid to pick up a fare about 1:30 Friday night.
I have to say though, from what I've heard about the party's showing at the singin' KK, Ms. Rathbun missed a number of scoops.
Monday
Breaking News: John Roberts Falls Down Stairs at Vacation Home
and has been taken to the hospital as a precautionary measure.
While few facts have come forward, it appears that C.J. Roberts was unwilling to completely replace the stairs' crumbling foundation and instead wanted to repair it little by little over time while drinking mojitos and smoking Cubans with fellow newly-appointed-Justice Sammy A. Apparently that choice left the stairs too unstable, and Roberts toppled through them: The difference between the metaphorical weight of the legal confidence of the American people and the physical weight of John Roberts' ass was never more distinct.
More Motions Filed by "Motion to Kiss my Ass" Dude
From Concurring Opinions:
Then, [the Motion to Kiss my Ass guy] initiated the trademark of his practice: the Motion to Amend Complaint. He moved to amend his complaint on March 6, 1992, on April 15, 1992, and on December 14, 1992. After a couple allowances of amendment, Judge Dudley H. Bowen, Jr., began denying Plaintiff's motions to amend. Soon thereafter he moved to disqualify Judge Bowen and began filing "Extraordinary Motions to Amend" including one which desired to add the United States Secret Service as a party.
The USSS was definitely in on what happened to MTKMA dude.
Plaintiff began filing frivolous motions on a weekly basis and, in that relatively simple civil rights lawsuit, he ended up filing more than seventy-five pleadings, all of which required the considered attention of this Court and Judge Bowen. These motions included "Motion to Behoove an Inquisition" and "Motion for Judex Delegatus" and "Motion for Restoration of Sanity" and "Motion for Deinstitutionalization". In one instance, he indicated the recreational tilt of his litigation when he filed a "Motion for Publicity" regarding a trial which had been set for March 23, 1995, in Statesboro. At the time of trial, Plaintiff filed a "Motion to Vacate Jurisdiction" which was denied. Even after judgment as a matter of law was entered against him at the trial, Plaintiff did not perceive his case as complete. He renewed the filing of "Extraordinary Motions to Amend" and filed his appeals, fees paid, with the United States Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit.
This man is simply brilliant:
Recently, he filed a "Motion for Catered Food Services" in which he complained about the prison food and moved for a court order allowing him to "receive catered food from some credible responsible business establishment preferred and paid for by Plaintiff."
Plaintiff's other cases in this district demonstrate that his litigation practice continues with the same themes as described above. In Matthew Washington v. Dr. Joseph H. Owens, Jr., Plaintiff filed some ten motions to amend, moved to disqualify the undersigned judge, and also expressed his contempt for the undersigned judge by filing a "Motion to Invoke and Execute Rule 15--Retroactive Note: The Court's School Days are Over".
The motions ranged from the mundane, such as "Motion for Change of Venue", to the arcane, such as "Motion for Cesset pro Cessus" and "Motion for Judex Delegatus", to the curious, such as "Motion for Nunc pro Tunc" and "Motion for Psychoanalysis", to the outlandish, such as "Motion to Impeach Judge Alaimo" and "Motion to Renounce Citizenship" and "Motion to Exhume Body of Alex Hodgson".
Then, [the Motion to Kiss my Ass guy] initiated the trademark of his practice: the Motion to Amend Complaint. He moved to amend his complaint on March 6, 1992, on April 15, 1992, and on December 14, 1992. After a couple allowances of amendment, Judge Dudley H. Bowen, Jr., began denying Plaintiff's motions to amend. Soon thereafter he moved to disqualify Judge Bowen and began filing "Extraordinary Motions to Amend" including one which desired to add the United States Secret Service as a party.
The USSS was definitely in on what happened to MTKMA dude.
Plaintiff began filing frivolous motions on a weekly basis and, in that relatively simple civil rights lawsuit, he ended up filing more than seventy-five pleadings, all of which required the considered attention of this Court and Judge Bowen. These motions included "Motion to Behoove an Inquisition" and "Motion for Judex Delegatus" and "Motion for Restoration of Sanity" and "Motion for Deinstitutionalization". In one instance, he indicated the recreational tilt of his litigation when he filed a "Motion for Publicity" regarding a trial which had been set for March 23, 1995, in Statesboro. At the time of trial, Plaintiff filed a "Motion to Vacate Jurisdiction" which was denied. Even after judgment as a matter of law was entered against him at the trial, Plaintiff did not perceive his case as complete. He renewed the filing of "Extraordinary Motions to Amend" and filed his appeals, fees paid, with the United States Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit.
This man is simply brilliant:
Recently, he filed a "Motion for Catered Food Services" in which he complained about the prison food and moved for a court order allowing him to "receive catered food from some credible responsible business establishment preferred and paid for by Plaintiff."
Plaintiff's other cases in this district demonstrate that his litigation practice continues with the same themes as described above. In Matthew Washington v. Dr. Joseph H. Owens, Jr., Plaintiff filed some ten motions to amend, moved to disqualify the undersigned judge, and also expressed his contempt for the undersigned judge by filing a "Motion to Invoke and Execute Rule 15--Retroactive Note: The Court's School Days are Over".
The motions ranged from the mundane, such as "Motion for Change of Venue", to the arcane, such as "Motion for Cesset pro Cessus" and "Motion for Judex Delegatus", to the curious, such as "Motion for Nunc pro Tunc" and "Motion for Psychoanalysis", to the outlandish, such as "Motion to Impeach Judge Alaimo" and "Motion to Renounce Citizenship" and "Motion to Exhume Body of Alex Hodgson".
The Real Tin Cup?
One of my favorite moments in the golf classic "Tin Cup" is when Roy gets hired by Shooter to be his caddie for a promotional event. They get to the 15th hole or so and Shooter has like a 230 yard carry over water to the green on a par 5, and he elects to lay up. Roy makes side bets with the guys Shooter's playing with that he could put it on from there with a 3-wood, but Shooter lays up. The other players make Shooter let Roy try, and Roy sticks it up there. Then Shooter fires Roy and grabs a guy out of the gallery to be his caddie for the rest of the round.
Although Jay Williamson's caddie didn't get a chance to wallop a 3-wood, he did get fired in the middle of the round and replaced with a dude from the crowd. Apparently there was some disagreement about Williamson's approach on 14, which sailed way long of the green. JP thinks Williamson probably overclubbed, the caddie told him to take one less, Jay wouldn't, and then he flew the green by a fair bit. If the caddie screwed up, the player just wouldn't hire him again. It'd take more than that to make a PGA pro lose his cool, and I think that something was screwing up himself.
SIDENOTE: In case anyone thought random-volunteer-caddying wasn't lucrative, "Alexander said he was paid a dozen golf balls for his four-hole stint."
Although Jay Williamson's caddie didn't get a chance to wallop a 3-wood, he did get fired in the middle of the round and replaced with a dude from the crowd. Apparently there was some disagreement about Williamson's approach on 14, which sailed way long of the green. JP thinks Williamson probably overclubbed, the caddie told him to take one less, Jay wouldn't, and then he flew the green by a fair bit. If the caddie screwed up, the player just wouldn't hire him again. It'd take more than that to make a PGA pro lose his cool, and I think that something was screwing up himself.
SIDENOTE: In case anyone thought random-volunteer-caddying wasn't lucrative, "Alexander said he was paid a dozen golf balls for his four-hole stint."
Boring Justice
Nothing good out of the Seventh Circuit today. Two administrative deportation decisions were affirmed (Koutcher v. Gonzales and Tarraf v. Gonzales), Charles Johnson couldn't get his concurrent life sentences vacated because of Miranda and Fourth Amendment violations which clearly didn't occur (United States v. Johnson), and an employee injured on the job is not entitled to worker's compensation payments if he doesn't file regular updates as required by the CBA, and it's not retaliation to fire him after he makes the worker's comp claim because not sending the updates indicated abandonment of employment (McCoy v. Maytag).
Who Dun It?
In today's TimesSelect, Adam Liptak writes about the pro's and con's of executioner anonymity.
The pro side is a Missouri law:
A new law, signed this month by Gov. Matt Blunt, makes it unlawful to reveal “the identity of a current or former member of an execution team,” and it allows executioners to sue anyone who names them.
The governor explained that the law “will protect those Missourians who assist in fulfilling the state’s execution process.”
Con is some chick from Fordham:
A forceful and persuasive article published in the Fordham Law Review in April argued for “a right to know who is hiding behind the hood.”
Its author, Ellyde Roko, who will start her third year of law school at Fordham in the fall, said in an interview that society’s interest in knowing how the death penalty is administered should outweigh the relatively flimsy interests supporting secrecy. “Not knowing who the executioners are takes away a huge check on the system,” she said.
The JP doesn't agree with either position. I don't see why a prisoner should have a right to have his executor named if nothing goes wrong. Should the prison have to give him the names and addresses of his guards before he leaves? Seems like a recipe for retaliation to me.
But, if the executioner botches the job ("[It] require[s] executioners to insert catheters and to prepare three chemicals and inject them, in the right dosage and sequence, into intravenous lines. If the first chemical is ineffective as a sedative, the other two are torturous") there should be recompense as in any governmental screw-up that happens to a prisoner.
Perhaps a qualified anonymity, unless a (state (can we keep the feds' grubby hands out of the police power please AGAG?)) commission finds a basis for liability, in which case the identity is revealed to the estate of the deceased?
Hill's Tats
Jenna Hansen resides in Madison and probably has a job. She wrote a letter to the editor of the The Capital Times (it's short, so that's why I think, unlike Frank Lasee, she may have a real profession) complaining about the Clinton cleavage climate:
I cannot believe that Madison's "Progressive Newspaper" would dare print an article about Hillary Clinton's cleavage! It turned me off so much I recycled the whole LifeStyle section without even reading on!
Was she so mad that she couldn't throw the paper in the garbage? Is Jenna Hansen a tree-hugger commenting on how she was almost too mad to recycle the paper, a tree-hugger who thinks that reading a paper reduces its recyclic value, or an eco-terrorist so momentarily angry with the world that she recycled to demonstrate to her eco-terrorist parents that she won't live under their evil, evil regime any more? So many questions.
"Yes, Hillary Clinton has breasts. We are all well aware of that. Does The Capital Times really believe that this kind of garbage is what we want to read?"
Does the Capital Times think some of its audience is interested in boobies? hA! What a silly organization they are... In Ms. Hansen's defense, Hill's breastices aren't the most conversationally-attractive one could pick, but let's not hate the player in the stead of the game. Plus, the Cap Times is a bastion of knowledge: Let us suck at its teat.
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