Due to his sixth-place finish in the Iowa Straw Poll, after canvassing all of the state's 99 counties, Tommy Thompson has officially withdrawn from the Presidential race. *cue the 'awwhhhhhh'* His reaction was surprisingly surprised:
Thompson told a reporter this morning that the disappointing finish was like being hit by a Mack truck, according to WITI-TV in Milwaukee.
Respectfully Mr. Thompson, I think a Mack truck is a particularly poor choice of analogies. According to the finely-tuned 27 WKOW Madison webpoll, 87% of voters said the chances of Thompson continuing his campaign after the Straw Poll was "Not a chance," as opposed to "Maybe if he wins the darn thing" and "I think so". What you were hit by, Mr. Thompson, was the vacuum of the paucity of your political capital, the nothing where there should've been something. Your clumsily-worded defeat, however, is awkwardly appropriate for the interment of an awkwardly inappropriate ambition.
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