What are you arguing for, sir?

Roland Martin, who JP'd never heard of, wrote a little polemic on marriage for cnn.com. The title is "Saving Marriages must be a National Priority," and, after chronicling his eight-year-old failed marriage, (which he, surprise of all surprises, thought shouldn't have ended) he wrote a particularly sappy and uninformative review of a movie where eight marriages aren't perfect. Mr. Martin thinks that's realistic.

Enter the specious arguments: "I strongly believe that for too many of us, we've accepted the notion that marriage will be perfect; that we won't endure trials and tribulations. But that isn't true. In fact, where is that ever true than in someone's fantasy life? What's amazing to me is that when faced with difficulty on the job, so many of us will buckle down and work harder to prove ourselves worthy to keep that job. But at home, we'd rather leave, even if that means putting our kids through a divorce."

First of all, with all due respect sir, this guy *two thumbs in* wants a fantasy life, and telling me something isn't going to be like it is in my fantasies just makes me think 'hmm, maybe I'll pass on this one and choose something that will be like my fantasies.' I like my fantasies.

Next, aside from the Protestant work ethic-ish theme of just continuing to work hard at something and eventually everything will work out, isn't there something missing here? When faced with difficulty on the job, don't we sometimes quit? If marriage is such a shitshow, where's the treatment of not getting married? It's like lamenting the depth and spikyness of a deep pit while ushering people to jump in. The counterargument is obvious in his job example: If they fire me and I can't find another job, I'm up shit creek without any TP. If I get divorced, I'll get a little peace and quiet.

Let me conclude you with Mr. Martin's conclusion: "Is it you I'm speaking to? Are you in the position where your marriage is crumbling before your very eyes? If so, take action today. Don't let divorce end it all. Remember, your trial today could eventually be your testimony tomorrow." First, how about the awful word choice picking 'trial' to operate as the antithesis to testimony, which is apparently related to a courtroom. Second, if it's you he's speaking to, you already fucked up. You're not going to get out with all of your appendages. Sorry!