Your Daily Dose of Frank Lasee

If you're enough of an idiot to read more than two or three posts on this blog, you've heard of Frank Lasee, the shit-for-brains Wisconsin State Rep who advocates both diverting money from education and purchasing firearms for educators. What do you tell an insolent fourth grader with two holes in his head? Nothing, you already told him twice.

Last Friday, Frank proposed reducing the number of counties in Wisconsin. I have to say, facially, that does appear to be a piece of not-totally-moronic-like-arming-teachers nugget of policy coming from the desk of our hero. He doesn't even any crack jokes at the disabled, poor, or ethnically-diverse while explaining its merits.

Unfortunately, this is the point where things start to head south for Mr. Lasee. What are the "merits" of this proposal?

"There are 31 states with fewer counties than Wisconsin. Ten of those states have more people than Wisconsin."

First of all, what in the name of Oliver Wendall Holmes is Lasee trying to say? 31 states with fewer counties than Wisconsin, and 10 of those 31 have more people than Wisconsin. Well, so 18 states have more counties than Wisconsin, what if 10 of them have fewer people? Then we're still at the county/population ratio median. The JP suspects that, even if Mr. Lasee wants to assume that Wisconsin should blindly pursue the median in Federalist politics, his attempt at bolstering his argument statistically was both vain and in vain.

Unfortunately for him and the rest of Wisconsin that wants to at least pretend to have a legitimate state government, Lasee continues:

Each county runs large operations like jails, courts, landfills, highway departments and welfare services.

The bill would create a task force to look at combining counties. Some counties already have contracted with other counties for services. There are counties that have combined services through cooperative agreements.

If we continue to do things the way we have always done them, we will continue to get the same results. What I have noticed is that our government continues to grow faster than our paychecks. Us citizens are losing ground to our government. I believe combining counties could provide efficiencies and save money on major services without losing our representative government.

Hey, that almost sounds like coherent, rational justification. When I read through that part the first time, I was like hey, give me back Frank Lasee and get rid of this pod person or else I'm not going to have anything to make fun of on my blog. Things aren't that dire, though: I think Frank's arguing here for bigger government, yes? I agree wholeheartedly that it's generally more efficient to have fewer, bigger governments serving more people. I just don't think you really do, Frank, considering you're always looking to cut taxes and slash funding. Let's combine county government... and not fund them!