Cosi

The honorable JP enjoyed lunch at Cosi today with his co-clerk Senor Horseinator. I'd only been there once before and wasn't a big fan, because I thought it was too expensive, too small-portioned and a bit haughty for my down-to-earth tastes. The first two flaws are killer: If I feel like I'm paying too much money to eat too little food, I probably won't be back for at least eight months, if ever.

This trip was a little better, but I don't know that I'll ever go back. The sandwiches are too dry for me, and the bread they go on and on about seems to me to be perpetually a little stale. They give you a choice between potato chips and baby carrots for sides, which, as my colleague pointed out, was one of the sillier questions he'd been asked in his life. They're trying to seem natural and organic and shit, but I personally just wish they'd give me more food.

The one real upside to Cosi? Apparently it appeals to attractive women. The JP saw him some fine, fine tail over the lunch hour, and, like I always go to Thursday Ladies' Night at the dive to examine the scenery, I may have to return to Cosi in search of my future wife. Although, to be fair, it seems to attract a fairly high-maintenance crowd, and since that's not really my style, maybe I should target the girl who loves her some Chipotle. In the restaurant world, Chipotle is Zeus, Jupiter, He-Man and Captain Statute all rolled into one big ball of deliciousness. If I'm ever caught referring to the Holy Grail of Sustenance, you'll know which burrito I'm talkin' about.