Who could forget the classic case of United States ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and His Staff, 54 F.R.D. 282?
"Plaintiff sought leave to proceed in forma pauperis on a complaint filed against defendant chief fallen angel. Plaintiff alleged that defendant had threatened him, caused him misery, impeded his course in life, and generally precipitated his downfall, which injuries, plaintiff alleged, rose to constitutional dimension."
"The court denied plaintiff's prayer for leave to proceed in forma pauperis and ordered that the complaint be assigned a docket number. The court opined that the complaint failed to state a claim for which relief could be granted and found that it failed to allege facts that would support a conventional jurisdictional basis for the maintenance of an action against defendant chief fallen angel."
Since that time, it would seem that people have realized the folly of attempting to obtain personal jurisdiction over otherworldly beings. Then again, maybe not.
The Honorable Ernie Chambers, State Senator from the Great State of Nebraska, has apparently brought suit against God. That's right, God the Almighty himself.
"The defendant in a state senator’s lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He’s everywhere."
While the Mayo case was dismissed largely for lack of personal jurisdiction, probably because Satan can only come to you if you invite him, God is omnipotent and omnipresent and thus, arguably, subject to personal jurisdiction damn near everywhere.
"The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused “fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes.”
He’s seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty."
It is precisely these sorts of frivolous lawsuits that we need to work to eradicate. God, I've heard, is LOADED. Could you imagine the incredible punitive damages that might be awarded by a runaway jury? Not to mention God's long record of bad behavior (The Black Plague, anyone?), which could very well cause a jury to go completely off the rails.Don't worry God. Clarince T is firmly in your corner.
1 comment:
Yeah...it might be an interesting case. I don't think God could find any lawyers to represent Him. They'd have some serious conflicts of interest. In the alternative, The Almighty would go Pro Se. Infallible? Maybe. But He'd have to speak through prophets, wouldn't He? And what's the chance that prophets are admitted to the bar? Either that or omens. "Umm...your honor, would the record reflect a large burning bush in the middle of the courtroom?" Sigh. Nobody will ever know God's side.
Post a Comment