Tuesday

Hungry Germans

The mayor of Berlin admitted yesterday that zoo workers have been killing captive animals and selling them for their meat. The headline proclaims that "Zoo Workers Shot Animals for Meat", as if condemning them for their cruelty while simultaneously rewarding them for their resourcefulness. At least they didn't shoot the animals to watch them die, or to have sex with them, like our most famous Wisconsin animal sex criminal who memorably argued, reminiscent of the great Burrito v. Sandwich debate in Nebraska, that an animal wasn't legally an animal if it's dead for the purposes of bestiality. No harm, no foul, right?

Sidenote: The wonders of Burrito v. Sandwich have been translated into French Funnynews. In case you were curious about the French result, "un burrito n'est pas un sandwich."

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